Tips for talking to kids about puberty

Posted: September 27, 2024

Two tips for parents who dread talking to kids about puberty: Do it anyway and do it early. [caption id="attachment_18737" align="alignright" width="450"] Two tips for parents who dread talking to kids about puberty: Do it anyway and do it early.[/caption] Puberty is the stage of life when a child's body transitions into an adult body. It's a normal and healthy part of development. Knowing how their bodies will change before it happens makes puberty less stressful for kids. Come back to the topic again when physical changes start. "Children trust their parents most," said Dr. Christopher Ordonez, a Marshfield Children's pediatrician. "They'll feel more reassured hearing about it from you than someone else. It's also important to not wait until they come to you with questions. It's OK to start the conversation to show them you are there to support and provide reassurance during these changes."

When does puberty start?

Most girls start puberty between ages 8 and 12, and boys between 10 and 14. Kids have growth spurts during this time, which explains why girls sometimes are taller than boys in middle school. Girls often start puberty around the same age their mothers did, and boys around the same age as their fathers. "Be reassuring when talking to your child about any changes to expect. It's easy for kids to feel insecure or alone because this is new to them," said Dr. Ordonez. "It might help to share that this is normal, even if the timing is different from their peers or friends."

Physical changes during puberty

All children will experience a few similar changes during puberty that affect height, weight, mood, hair growth and acne. Hygiene becomes especially important during puberty when boys and girls sweat more and notice body odor. Talk to pre-teens about showering and using deodorant. While all these changes are perfectly normal, they may happen at different paces in children. Physical and hormonal changes during this development stage can affect kids' emotions. Let them know they might notice these changes, and make an effort to be an understanding parent when it happens. "Like physical changes, emotional changes are normal, too," Dr. Ordonez said.

Talking to girls about puberty

When they reach puberty, girls will begin to produce the hormone estrogen, which aids in the development and regulation of the female reproductive system. "Help your daughter understand that puberty brings new hormones and what some of those early signs of puberty are," said Dr. Ordonez. These include:

• Development of breasts
• Body hair growth
• Vaginal discharge
• Physical growth spurt
• Mood swings
• Oilier hair or skin and acne

Breast development and pubic and underarm hair come before menstruation. Sometimes girls develop body hair first, before puberty growth changes start. Girls usually have their first period between ages 11 and 13, about two years after breast changes begin. It's common for the first few periods to be irregular or unpredictable. "However, if your child has concerns or notices pain or discomfort, talk to their provider," said Dr. Ordonez. In addition to talking with your daughter about what to expect, make sure she's prepared for her first period. Buy pads and tampons and keep a kit of supplies in her backpack or bag so she is ready when her period does come. Share with your daughter that it's normal for things to happen slow and steady. They won't notice all these changes at once. "For example, one breast may develop more quickly than the other," said Dr. Ordonez.

Talking to boys about puberty

Boy's bodies will begin to produce the hormone testosterone, which plays a key role in the development of male reproductive tissues. They'll start to notice:

• Voice changes, where their voice will get lower and may crack occasionally
• Hair growth
• Growth spurt
• Increased sweating
• Genital growth
• Temporary chest tenderness or swelling

"Reassure your son these changes will happen gradually – likely over the span of a couple years," said Dr. Ordonez. "Have a few tools ready to help ease the transition and prepare them. This includes stocking up on deodorant, facial cleansers and shaving cream and razors." Boys also may worry about when they will become more muscular or grow facial hair. "These changes occur later in puberty," said Dr. Ordonez. "Boys will experience growth in their genitals, pubic hair and underarm hair first."

For questions about puberty, talk to a Marshfield Children's provider.

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